


Thriller

by Topographical_Map_Of_Utah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Raccoon BB-8, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-20 02:19:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11911173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah/pseuds/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah
Summary: We got zombies, Twinkies, Michael Jackson, and a pet raccoon. This is shaping up to be a good apocalypse.





	1. Chapter 1

"Finn. That is a terrible idea."

"It worked for Michael Jackson."

"You're not Michael Jackson."

"Maybe, but..." Poe shot him a look and Finn sighed, inspecting the pavement for bloodstains before sitting down beside Poe, adjusting the straps of his respirator mask for him. From what they knew, this whole undead mess wasn't caused by an airborne pathogen, but in these circumstances there was no such thing as too careful. Zombification came from bites, that was a given. But what about vampires? They didn't know anything about vampires. For all Finn knew being sneezed on was enough to turn you into a vampire. 

"Look, we're running out of options, and I just-" Finn paused for a moment to fling a knife into the zombie who had gotten a bit too close for comfort. It let out a garbled moan as it fell to its knees, the eyeball Finn's knife had pierced oozing onto the cracking concrete like a soft boiled egg dropped on the counter. That image alone would likely be enough to curb his appetite for the next couple hours. "I just want to go out with a bang, y'know? What better way to die than moonwalking into a hoard with explosives strapped to my chest? They might even join in, remind them of their humanity or something..." he continued on a philosophical note, going over and prying his blade out of the corpse's skull, making a face at the mess of brains and bodily fluids way past their expiration date. Scrambled eggs and ketchup, as Poe liked to put it. 

Food related idioms seemed to be his favourite manner of expression. That extended to Finn's pet names. And there were many.

"You're not going out at all, honey bun. We're getting outta morgue city, you and me, and we're going to find that nice little zombie-free island Rey was talking about. Corpses can't swim." he hummed, the double dead body five feet away not deterring him from doggedly munching on his Twinkie. A year into this apocalypse business and apparently they tasted the same as ever. Wall-E hadn't lied. Hopefully Rey had been able to track some down on her little shopping trip downtown, along with food for the trip and a comparatively reliable ride. He also hoped she hadn't become a midnight snack for any prowlers. Her safety was more important to him than sponge cake.

Trying not to think too hard about it, Poe glanced over at Finn, who had dug the all too precious iPod out of his inner coat pocket and was peering at the blank screen, clearly considering his options.

"This sucks..." he mumbled, flipping through the Broadway tunes and 80's pop. In an attempt to conserve battery during these trying times, he restricted himself to half a song a day. Poe didn't understand that level of self discipline. He heard the first chord of _Total Eclipse of the Heart_ and was immediately obligated to listen to it at least half a dozen times. "I'm sitting in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, but I've never had a chance to do the Thriller choreography."

"Isn't that just..." Poe drew his arms up to his chest like a T-Rex and swung them from side to side, making Finn's face screw up in derision behind his mask. "No? There's more to it?"

"I'm breaking up on you."

"Over choreography? Knowing I could very well be the last gay guy in your vicinity who still has a heartbeat?"

Before Finn could comment, a Dixie horn echoed off the surrounding buildings, which wasn't a sound Finn generally associated with Armageddon. After a couple gratuitous doughnuts, Rey came to a screeching halt in front of them, attracting the attention of a fair few zombies. One actually tumbled out off the roof of the warehouse in an attempt to get a nibble. How had he gotten up there?

"Nice horn." Finn snorted, the tinted window rolling down to reveal Rey, a Kit Kat sticking out of her mouth. "Is that why you're late? And why a Civic?" He had been expecting a Jeep. Or maybe horses. All bets were off in these circumstances.

"Because fuel efficiency. Now get in the car."

"Are we going shopping?" Poe asked as Rey kicked the door open for them. She pushed her goggles up over her freckled forehead and stuck her tongue out at them as they clambered inside, squeezing in with the bags and boxes she had managed to scrape up on her supply run. While they were arranging themselves Finn found himself with an armful of Poe's beloved albino raccoon, a nervous little thing who had a habit of gnawing unnoticed at the Achilles tendon of whatever zombie was currently chasing after her adopted dad. She was downright pampered, for a filthy little scavenger. Poe had outfitted her with a cute orange collar and everything. Finn was pretty sure it had been looted from Claire's.

"Hi, Blondie." Poe cooed, nuzzling their noses together. Whether she was named for the band or the dessert, Finn had never figured out. Both would be true to form choices for Poe, really. "You miss me and dad?"

Blondie licked the tip of his nose and turned to hiss at Finn over Poe's shoulder as Rey sped off. Well. That was as clear an answer as he could have hoped for. "Guess not..."

"It's only been a year. She'll get used to you. We call shotgun." Poe announced, crawling over Finn with Blondie clinging to his back like a possum. She seemed to be confused as to what animal she was. She stretched like a cat, ate like a dog, swam like an otter; whatever she thought she was, it sure as hell wasn't a raccoon. 

"You're blocking the road, Dameron..." Rey gave his ass a swat and craned her neck, swerving to splatter a zombie against a phone pole. It may not kill it, but the missing legs would likely hinder any attempts at chasing them. "How much butt does one man need?"

"Not my fault. I'm big boned." Poe complained, flopping into his seat with a huff and starting to discard his armour. If you could call a respirator, a scratched up A-1 jacket, and a denim work shirt "armour". Everything survivors wore was a strange mix of leather and canvas and athletic pads, like a collision between an army surplus and a truck full of sportsgear. Finn had started out with a hockey mask and an especially heavy winter coat, and the people he had come across since then had accepted that being a fashion disaster was the only way to live. The fashionable ones had kicked the bucket awhile back.  

"Sure. 'Cause this is all bone." Finn smirked and reached around the seat to squeeze Poe's belly, not having bothered to put on a seatbelt. After all, what were the odds of a car accident when you're the only ones on the road? That was the least of their worries.

"Don't make fun of me. I'm an asset. Throw me at the zombies and you'll get a longer getaway." Poe tilted his head back for a kiss and smiled lazily at Finn, the sunset rosy pink on his cheeks. Or maybe they were just flushed after wearing a mask all day. That was likely. "But you love me too much to do that. Right, dumpling?"

"Right." Finn agreed, pulling Poe so close he went cross-eyed. Their parted lips met and melded comfortably together, undeterred at the moment by the world crumbling around them, the chaos and madness that seemed small in the face of such bliss as this. 

"If you two don't knock it off I'm going to jump out of the car, get bit, and hunt your asses down until I'm nothing but bones." Rey threatened when she saw them slobbering all over each other. "I swear, I will find you while you're fucking. I will find you, and I will bite you right before you come."

"That is an oddly specific threat." Finn pulled back and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Does this thing have an aux cord?" The words escaped before Finn could stop them. After a moment spent weighing the pros and cons, as well as picking off a zombie in far too revealing underoos, Rey surrendered it with a resigned sigh. Well, the poor guy had earned it, she figured.

"I feel like I know what you're gonna play."

"Not like I've got other options." The drums started up and Finn smiled, settling back with the music blasting. So what if it attracted the zombies, he considered as he sang along. It, quite appropriately, added a thrill to the whole thing.

  
_...That it's a thriller, thriller night_  
_'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try_  
_Girl, this is thriller, thriller night_  
_So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller_  
_Thriller here tonight..._


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you think someone out there's fucked a zombie?" 

_"Poe."_

"What? It's just a question." Poe tilted his head back and watched the ceiling fan turn overhead, their clothes fluttering on the coat hangers hanging from the platform signs. Their safehouse was a converted subway station downtown; cosy, considering the circumstances. After all, there were quilts and sofas tucked in amidst all the speakers and weapons and the bloody lawnmower that Poe usually chose not to think about. It was secure, too; the tunnels surrounding the place all blocked off by wrecked trains and the upper floor accessible only by a maintenance door kept under constant watch. Rey had made a security camera app for it, apparently. Poe wasn't sure where she found the time. 

"Sometimes things should be left unsaid." Finn insisted, rubbing the white powder off his clothes as he stared up at the wall above the tracks. He finished counting the chalk marks marking it up and smiled. "It's official. Three hundred and sixty eight days of this."

"That's an oddly specific number." 

"It means it's our anniversary, asshole."

"Well, damn. Time flies when you're having fun. Happy anniversary, sweetheart. Sorry I couldn't get a reservation." Poe rolled off of their blow up mattress and reached underneath it, pulling out a battered plastic bag filled with comic books. Some of them seemed to be in mint condition, still in the packaging. "Got you this, though. Nearly lost a leg, so you'd better appreciate it."

"And I nearly lost an arm for these." Finn held up a fancy box of dark chocolate, letting Poe drag him down onto the bed, careful not to wake Blondie. They exchanged and Poe kissed the tip of Finn's nose before cheerfully cramming a coffee truffle into his mouth. "Wish we could go on a proper date. I want to see a movie."

"You do remember the last time we were in a movie theatre, right?" It had involved the lawnmower. "Our last date was nice, at least."

"Romantic, wasn't it? Suits and ties, fancy dessert, an engagement ring on the cake..." 

"A zombie attacking the waiter..."

"Yeah, that killed the mood. But aside from that it was a damn good date." Poe said comfortably. He could almost recall the flickering golden candlelight, smell the dessert they hadn't gotten to take a bite out of. 

"You're thinking about that cheesecake, aren't you?"

"Can you blame me? There was chocolate lace on it..."

And then there had been a zombie on it, but that part wasn't quite as romantic.

  

\-------------

  

"So..."

"So?" Finn smiled into his drink, curiously eyeing Poe. He was squirming in his suit, but that was common. He was mostly a jeans and t-shirts type of guy. "You've been awful quiet. That never happens."

"Shut up. I got a reason for it." Poe settled back in his chair with a sigh, loosening his tie and grinning at Finn in that lazy way he had. They had a good thing going, Finn thought. Two years into the relationship and things couldn't be cosier. He had a feeling Poe had something in mind to stir the pot, though. 

"No need to be cryptic about it..." Finn sighed. There was some commotion outside, car alarms and a handful of whooping yells as Finn got up and made his way towards the bathrooms. Well, it was a Saturday night. And there was a concert letting out, Finn was pretty sure. Nothing out of the ordinary, he thought as he passed the window, blissfully unaware of the car fire a couple doors down. Nothing out of the ordinary.  

There was dessert on the table when he got back, two slices of cheesecake on fine bone china, the kind you could see the outline of your hand through if you held it up to the light. Finn picked up his fork, but Poe cleared his throat before he could take a bite.

"Look before you eat, jackass."

"Why? Did you poison it?" Finn rolled his eyes, but they froze halfway down. A diamond ring sat perched atop his slice, glittering like a living thing on a swirl of chocolate whipped cream. Finn looked up at Poe, who was watching him with eager, nervous eyes.

"You nearly swallowed it." he mumbled, his smile going lopsided. "So what d'you say, sweetheart? Will you marry me?"

His voice cracked a little on the last bit, but Finn was focusing more on the proposal.

_"Yes."_ he laughed and sat up, pressing a kiss to the tip of Poe's nose and smiling when Poe smeared his cheek with frosting before slipping the ring on his finger. "Romantic son of a bitch..." Finn pressed their foreheads together and smiled, going crosseyed to look at his boyfriend, no,  _fiancé_. That had a nice ring to it. "Does this call for champagne?"

"I got you covered." Poe nodded at the waiter who was coming over with a bottle at the ready. "See? Look at how good I am at planning things." he laughed, passing the waiter their glasses. "Thanks for going along with this..."

"Not at all. Congratulations to you both." The waiter smiled politely as he poured their drinks, the bubbles glittering and fizzing, light as Finn's heart. The betrothed were too enamoured with staring at each other to note the maintenance man stood who behind the waiter, his face strangely ashen and mouth slack. The waiter sighed and turned, his nose wrinkled up in annoyance at what he perceived to be a breach in propriety. The actual situation was a bit more dire.

"George, I'll be with you in a mo-"

Suddenly George let out a moan and staggered forwards, arms outstretched. With a jolt of nausea that threatened to uproot his rather pricey rack of lamb from his stomach, Finn realised his hand was missing. That was alarming. What was more alarming was when he bit into the waiter's neck with a crunch that reminded Finn of someone biting into a candy apple. He wouldn't be eating those again anytime soon.

They leapt back as the waiter's corpse thudded against the table, his face landing squarely in the cheesecake. Poe's eyes widened, his chest splattered with a mix of sour cream icing and blood. "The fuck..." 

George staggered back with a mouthful of fancy pressed shirt and bodily bits, his jaw working at it like he was dumbly chewing gum. He managed to impale himself through the stomach on a candelabra someone had upended as they fled with most of the other customers. One man was still carrying his cocktail.  

"He shouldn't have survived that." Finn breathed, watching George twitch, slowly prying himself off of the ornate light fixture. "How did he survive that?"

"I think..." Poe blinked in confusion as George staggered towards them again. Around them people were running, but something had paralyzed Finn, which turned out to be an issue when George grappled him, the struggle making them stagger into a pillar and slide to the floor in a squirming heap. This was an unpleasant dogpile.

"Babe, I'd appreciate some help-"

"Hold on, hold on..." With trembling hands Poe pulled out his pocketknife and flicked open the corkscrew. He hoped George wouldn't take this personally. "Get his head up."

 "'Cause that's so easy." Finn grunted, arms trembling as he shoved upwards. Poe grabbed George by the hair and yanked him back, ramming the corkscrew into the back of his head. With minimal splattering, thankfully. Blood and a moan gurgled in George's throat as he slumped forwards into Finn's arms, properly dead this time. 

Finn hoped.

"What the fuck was that?" Poe demanded, his breath short as he dragged Finn out from under the body. Finn just cussed and kicked George's head away for good measure. He was long gone, but it was still satisfying.

"Why do you have a Swiss Army knife?" Finn demanded right back.

"Because I always have a Swiss Army knife?" 

"We were on a date..." Finn took the hand Poe offered and got to his feet, wiping off bloody bits of stuff he didn't want to think about. "Don't even think of opening any bottles with that thing."

"Duly noted." The two of them stood over the corpse, their breathing loud in the now deserted restaurant. Neither of them seemed especially inclined to talk about what had just happened. And when Finn opened his mouth to say something, Poe just glared at him. "If you say zombies, I'm gonna kick you."

"It's zombies." As promised, Poe kicked the back of his knee. "Well, what else could it be?" 

"Literally anything else."

"It could literally only be zombies." 

"No, it couldn't."

"Yes, it could."

"No, it _couldn't..."_

While they bickered a moan rose up from the back of the restaurant, coming from the kitchens, it seemed. Finn caught Poe's eye and raised an eyebrow as the executive chef staggered outside, still holding a butcher's knife. That really added to the horror of it all.

"Zombies." Poe begrudgingly agreed. Finn didn't have much time to bask in the glow of glory though. Not with two line cooks and the pastry chef making their way towards them. He had a feeling they weren't coming to ask about the meal. "Okay, we're running away now. We're running away from the zombies..."

Finn nodded and trotted outside, pausing to grab their jackets from coat check. He liked this suit. "Do we need weapons? I feel like we need weapons."

"There's a records store over there." Poe pointed out as they tiptoed outside. 

"And what, you're gonna Frisbee a record at the zombies? You're not Batman." Finn dragged Poe into an alley, curb stomping a corpse that came crawling out of a manhole. How the hell had it gotten in there? "How long were we in that restaurant?" 

"Longer than we thought." Maybe they should have looked out the window at some point. "You think Milla Jovovich will come save us?" 

 "Doubtful." Finn wiped the brains off the bottom of his shoe and the two of them turned a corner. A corner which, unfortunately, led them right into the midst of a shambling crowd of people who just might not be alive. Poe froze, and Finn followed suit, looking at Poe, then scanning the crowd, then looking back at Poe.

"Into the phone booth." 

"Into the phone booth." Poe nodded and yanked Finn into the sanctuary they had previously considered obsolete, not particularly minding the smell of stale alcohol and cigarettes. It was a tad cramped as well, but likely being disembowelled and zombified was a degree more uncomfortable. 

 "I'd suggest a quickie, but now doesn't seem like the time." Finn mumbled. They watched the hoard follow a passing car in silence, all shuffling gaits and empty eyes, groans gurgling in their throats. It was a rather unpleasant noise. Like someone gargling wood chips. 

"That's..." Poe wet his lips, eyes darting across the faces in the crowd. None of them were particularly emotive. "That's a lot of zombies."

"I can see that. We got a plan?" 

"Stay nice and cosy in our phone booth. That's the plan." Finn swat his chest and Poe sighed. "Fine, fine, we're gonna...we're gonna go home. Yeah. We're gonna go home, and we're gonna get my guns, and you're gonna get those chef knives I got you for your birthday. Then we're going on a road trip. A long, long road trip."

"But I like those knives..." Finn mumbled. "Those are my good knives."

"Well, it's not like you're gonna be making gourmet meals anytime soon, sweetheart. I'll get you more when this blows over." Poe draped his coat over his arm and peeked out of the booth. "All clear."

"For now." Finn stepped outside, shaking his head as he looked up and down the street. People had cleared out fast. "What d'you think brought it on?"

"Radioactive outbreak monkey? Somebody's poisoned the waterhole? Something. It's gotta be something..." 

"But I doubt it's either of those things. We'll figure it out later." Finn said practically, setting out in the general direction of their apartment.

"Fine by me." As they walked Poe pat at his pockets, his brow furrowing up. "Hey, sweetheart? Did we pay the bill?"  

"I swear to God..."


	3. Chapter 3

"Six thousand five hundred thirty-six bottles of beer on the wall, six thousand five hundred thirty-six bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, six thousand five hundred thirty-five bottles of beer on the wall. Six thousand five hundred thirty-five bottles of beer on the wall, six thousand-"

"I have an idea." Poe interjected, catching a moment where Rey and Finn were both pausing for breath. They had started with ten thousand bottles two days ago. This was a long road trip. "Let's play Who Can Be The Quietest. It's a fun game. You'll love it."

"C'mon, old man. Where's your enthusiasm?" Finn snorted, shooting Poe a wink from the backseat. It was Blondie's turn in shotgun, so he and Rey were sprawled out in the back together. Or rather on top of each other. Small car. "Only six thousand five hundred thirty-five bottles to go."

"Sweetheart, we all know you're drunk outta your mind after two drinks." Regardless, a moment later the song had started up again. Poe sighed and turned his attention back to the dirt road, the rolling fields and faded watercolour sky. Cows still grazed at the overgrown grass in their rusted, broken down enclosures, flicking flies from their tails and waiting for the farmer to come back for milking. Might be a long wait, though. "You guys mind if we make a pit stop in a mile or so? Want to check on something."

"Just say you're taking a dump, Dameron..."

"Shut up. My parents' house is around here." Doubtful they had made it through, though. Hopefully he wasn't about to be greeted with a corpse mom and dad. Some homecoming that would be. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind us taking stuff if we need it."

"Really?" Finn sat up and rested his chin on Poe's shoulder. "Man, I haven't seen 'em since they came over last Christmas..."

"That was fun." Poe recalled it as a eggnogy haze of slurred carols and what most people would consider too much peppermint brownie pie. He pulled up in the driveway of their sprawling property, squinting at the electric fence surrounding the place. His parents had been rather paranoid types. It came with military backgrounds, Poe supposed.

Blondie chittered uneasily as Poe got out of the car, clinging to his leg and nuzzling against him for comfort. New places made her antsy, if only because she wasn't sure food would be readily available. "I'll holler if I need anything." Poe promised, slipping a pistol into his chest holster.

"Don't do anything stupid." Finn warned, tugging Poe into a quick kiss. They never knew what moment would be their last together, so they took advantage of each and every second, despite Rey's complaints. And she had lots. "And say hi to them for me."

"Will do." Poe promised as he struck out, slipping through one of the safe spots he remembered his mom putting in the fence. Hopefully that hello wouldn't involve a bullet.

  
\------------

 

Poe crept through the bushes, whistling absently to himself and scratching the scruff of Blondie's neck. She had decided to climb up and drape herself over his shoulders like a fox fur scarf, but Poe didn't mind. That just meant he didn't have to worry about her running straight into a zombie.

Unfortunately, he wasn't quite as fortunate.

He took a step, heard a snap, and suddenly there was a throbbing pressure on his ankle. Poe's eyes went wide and he froze. Oh God. He had been bit by a toothless zombie. This was the end of him. Oh, well. It had been a good run.

Trembling, Poe looked down, then he blinked in surprise. A bear trap straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon had jumped up and attached itself to its leg, though thankfully the teeth were covered with nice rubber padding. That was good. What was less good was the prospect of being stuck here without help. He might as well be holding a neon sign that spelled out EAT ME in flashing rainbow lights.

As Poe was trying to maneuver Blondie off his head (she was startled and clinging to him like a toupee), he heard a rustle in the bushes. The both of them froze as a figure poked its head out from behind a tree, their face hooded and a hunting rifle pointed between Poe's eyes. That was friendly.

"Uh..." Poe blinked. "Hi?"

There was a moment of narrowed eyes and held breaths, and then, to his surprise, he heard a sudden burst of laughter. "Poe?"

"Mom?" Poe blinked, his fingers twitching on her back as she ran up and hugged him, deactivating the bear trap with a remote attached to her belt. "You're alive?

"Yep. So's the old man." Shara dusted off his shoulders and smiled, laughing when Blondie jumped into her arms. "Hello..." Blondie squeaked and reached into Shara's backpack, pulling out a granola bar and ripping open the wrapper. "I guess you can have that. What the hell are you doin' here, sweetheart? Who's with you?"

"Finn and a friend of his. L.A was getting a bit too crowded for our tastes." Poe snorted.

"I'll bet." Laughing, Shara pulled a walkie out of her belt and tuned to the right channel, an arm still wrapped around Poe's waist. "Baby? Got your ears on?"

"Right here. What's your twenty?"

"South entrance. And we got a visitor."

"Oh. They friendly?"

"I should hope so. We raised him to be."

"Now hold on a minute." Kes actually paused for about a minute. He liked thinking things through. _"Poe?"_

"Not like we have other children. We'll meet you on the porch." Shara rolled her eyes, wiping crumbs away from Blondie's cheeks. "Don't bring the dogs. Might be startled."

"10-4. Over and out."

"Love ya." Shara blew a kiss at the walkie as Kes disconnected, tucking it back into her belt and grinning at Poe. "So? What's new? Aside from the undead."

"Well, I got a raccoon." Poe laughed, watching Blondie nuzzle under Shara's chin as they walked, eyes constantly sweeping the underbrush for potential issues. "She likes you."

"I like her, too." Shara laughed as they came up to an electric fence surrounding the cosy red farmhouse. Kes was sitting on the steps, watching half a dozen German Shepard puppies rolling around at his feet. He looked up and grinned at them, pressing a button on the control pad around his wrist. Once the gate slid open Poe ran through, grasping Kes' hand and letting himself be drawn into a rib-crushing hug.

"Can't believe you're still here..." Poe mumbled, his voice being squeezed out of his lungs.

"Can't believe you made it either, city slicker." Kes pulled back, still keeping a firm grip on Poe's shoulders. He had gone a bit gaunt, but that was better than being a walking corpse. "But I guess having a couple weirdoes for parents helped you out."

"Hate to admit it, but it did." Poe laughed, shaking his head.

"You thought the doomsday prepping was stupid." Shara teased, grabbing Poe by the waist and guiding him back to the house. "You thought the bunker under the basement was dumb. Who's laughing now, huh?"

Granted, Kes and Shara had envisioned a far more reasonable end of the world scenario. Nuclear war. Pestilence. The gradual fall from grace of the American legislative system. But if anything, this zombie business was a win for them. No corpse was about to bite its way through a bomb shelter. They had trouble getting through Finn's jean jacket, even. Almost as much trouble as Poe would have wearing it. Finn pulled it off, though. The 80's was a good look on him.

"What've you guys been doing all this time?" Poe plopped down on the ground with the puppies, laughing when one poked at Blondie's nose. Brave little tyke.

"Watching a lot of Walking Dead." Kes admitted. "Glenn didn't deserve that."

"I haven't watched it yet..." Because who had time for Netflix marathons right now? Poe wasn't sure it was even running any more. He hadn't payed for his membership in awhile. "Can I radio Finn? Gotta tell him I'm alright."

"Sure thing, kid. invite him up here if you like. We can have dinner." Kes hummed, sounding satisfied with his plan.

"Why are you purely motivated by food?" Shara swat the back of Kes' head on her way into the house, settling her rifle by the door and wiping off her boots on the welcome mat. "Call your boyfriend, sweetheart. We planned on making a proper meal today, anyways. I'm sick of MRE's. Your dad took out all the brownies and ate them for himself a couple months ago."

"I was having a bad day..."

"Don't eat your feelings."

"What else am I supposed to do with them?" Kes got to his feet and followed her inside, tossing Poe a gun. "Can we make brownies?"

Shara gave his head another swat and Poe laughed. God, he had missed these guys.

 

\------------

 

"Hey, Rey? Why does your uncle have an island?"

"He doesn't. He's borrowing it. There was a house there and he set up shop." Rey explained. The laws of private property had gone out the window, as of late. "Nice place. They got a pool."

"Fuck, I didn't pack my swim trunks. Have you heard from him lately?"

"Would've told you if I had." Rey wiped her brow, squinting at a shambling shape on the horizon. "Think you can hit that?" she asked, indicating the unwanted company.

"Think Poe's gay?" Finn snorted, scooping up his rifle and peering through the scope. Once he knew for sure it was in fact a zombie he held his breath and squeezed the trigger, releasing it when the corpse crumpled like papier-mâché in the rain. "What was that? Six hundred yards?"

"Don't sell yourself short. More like eight." Rey watched the zombie rolling head over heels down the hill, furrowing her brow up. "That shouldn't be as funny as it is."

"Uh huh. God, we're fucked up."

"Apocalypses will do that to you." Rey heard a beeping in her pack and dug through it, pulling out a walkie talkie and one of Finn's comic books. "Hey there, Dameron. Need backup?"

"Too early to tell. You want to have dinner with my parents?" Poe's voice was full of jitters and nervous excitement. "We're not the dinner, by the way. They want to catch up."

"I'm down." Rey grinned and tossed the walkie to Finn. "Do they know you two are engaged?"

"I failed to mention that." Poe admitted. "They'll see the ring when you get up here. I'll buzz you guys through."

"Thanks, babe." Finn hopped back into the car as the gate slid open, turning to watch the zombie somersault into an irrigation ditch. Yep. This was fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> idk man i was listening to thriller at 1 in the morning and this happened. should i do more?


End file.
